The Love Dare 365 days
Stephen and Alex Kendrick
LOVE SEEKS TO UNDERSTAND
Day 155
How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. - Proverbs 3:13
Day 156
It's fine to have outside interests and to be knowledgeable about certain things. But this is where love would ask the question, "How much do you know about your mate?"
Day 157
Think back to the days when you were courting. Didn't you study the one your heart was yearning for?
Day 158
Consider the following perspective: if the amount you studied your spouse before marriage were equal to a high school diploma, then you should continue to learn about your mate until you gain a "college degree," a "master's degree," and ultimately a "doctorate degree." Think of it as a lifelong journey that draws your heart ever closer to your mate.
Day 159
Each nuance in your spouse's character has a back story. Each element of who he is, how he thinks, and what he's like is couched in a set of guiding principles, which often makes sense only to the person who holds them. But it's worth the time it will take to study why they are the way they are.
Day 160
If you miss the level of intimacy you once shared with your spouse, one of the best ways to unlock their heart again is by making a commitment to know them. Study them. Read them like a book you're trying to understand.
Day 161
The Bible says, "The ear of the wise seeks knowledge" (Proverbs 18:15). Love takes the initiative to begin conversations. In order to get your mate to open up, they need to know that your desire for understanding them is real and genuine.
Day 162
"Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand" (Proverbs 10:14). The goal of understanding your mate is to hear them, not to tell them what you think. Even if your spouse is not very talkative, love calls you to draw out the "deep water" that dwells within them (Proverbs 20:5).
Day 163
"The Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:6). Things like gender differences, family backgrounds, and varied life experiences can cloud your ability to know your mate's heart and motivations. But God is a giver of wisdom. The Lord will show you what you need in order to know how to love your spouse better.
Day 164
By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. - Proverbs 24:3-4
Day 165
There is a depth of beauty and meaning inside your wife or husband that will amaze you as you discover more of it. Enter the mystery with expectation and enthusiasm.
Day 166
Desire to know this person even better than you do now. Make him or her your chosen field of study, and you will fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide. "Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding" (Proverbs 4:7).
LOVE Is IMPOSSIBLE
Day 167
You cannot manufacture unconditional love out of your own heart. It's impossible. It's beyond your capabilities. It's beyond all our capabilities. It's something only God can do.
Day 168
We've all fallen short of God's commands (Romans 3:23). We've all demonstrated selfishness, hatred, and pride. And unless something is done to cleanse us of these ungodly attributes, we will stand before God guilty as charged (Romans 6:23). That's why if you're not right with God, you can't truly love your spouse because He is the Source of that love.
Day 169
Love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you're only looking within yourself to find it. You need someone who can give you that kind of love. "Love is from God" (1 John 4:7). And only those who have allowed Him into their heart through faith in His Son, Jesus - only those who have received the Spirit of Christ through belief in His death and resurrection - are able to tap into love's real power. "Apart from me," Jesus said, "you can do nothing" (John 15:5).
Day 170
If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. - John 15:7
Day 171
When you surrender yourself to Christ, His power can work through you. Even at your very best, you are not able to live up to God's standards. But He "is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us" (Ephesians 3:20). That's how you love your spouse.
Day 172
You can't live without God and you can't love without Him. But there is no telling what He could do in your marriage if you put your trust in Him.
Day 173
This is impossible, but with God all things are possible. - Matthew 19:26
LOVE is JESUS CHRIST
Day 174
Jesus has come "to seek and to save" you (Luke 19:10). Everything you've failed at and haven't been able to do, every minute you've wasted trying to fix things your own way - all of it can be forgiven and made right by putting your life into the hands of the One who first gave it to you.
Day 175
"He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed" (1 Peter 2:24). By His death, He made invalid the very idea that you are unloved and devalued. If you ever feel that way, you're not looking at the cross. He proved His love for you there.
Day 176
God was willing to love you even though you didn't deserve it, even when you didn't love back. This means you now share this same love with your spouse. You can love even when you're not loved in return. You can see all their flaws and imperfections and still choose to love. And though you can't meet their needs the way God can, you can become His instrument to meet the needs of your spouse. As result, he or she can walk in the fullness and blessing of your love. Now and till death.
Day 177
True love is found in Christ alone. And after you have received His gift of new life by accepting His death in your place and His forgiveness for your sins, you are finally ready to live the dare.
LOVE is STATISFIED IN GOD
Day 178
The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire. - Isaiah 58:11
Day 179
Every day you place expectations on your spouse. Sometimes they meet them. Sometimes they don't. But never will they be able to totally satisfy all the demands you ask of them - partly because some of your demands are unreasonable, partly because your mate is human.
Day 180
Those who approach God in utter dependence each day for the real needs in their life are the ones who find out just how dependable He is. Can your spouse give you an inner peace? No. But God can. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).
Day 181
In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled. . . . I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:12-13
Day 182
There are needs in your life only God can fully satisfy. Stop expecting somebody or something to keep you functioning and fulfilled on a non-stop basis. Only God can do that as you learn to depend on Him. But He wants to do it His way. "My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).
Day 183
The needs of love, peace, and adequacy are real. No one is saying you shouldn't have them. But rather than plugging into things that are unstable at best and are subject to change - your health, your money, even the affections and best intentions of your mate - plug into God instead. He's the only One in your life that can never change. His faithfulness, His truth, and His promises to His children will always remain. That's why you need to seek Him every day.
Day 184
"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). When we are seeking Him first, loving Him first, making our relationship with Him top priority, He promises to supply us with what we really need - which, actually, is all it really takes to satisfy us.
Day 185
God is your everyday supply Of everything you need.
Day 186
You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. - Psalm 145:16
LOVE is FAITHFUL
Day 187
As Christians, love is the basis of our whole identity. Our spiritual rebirth came about because "God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
Day 188
When asked to clarify what the greatest commandments of all were, Jesus answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart . . . your soul . . . your strength . . . your mind . . . and your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 10:27).
Day 189
Our love for each other is supposed to be how people distinguish us as Christ's disciples (John 13:35). It is the root and ground of our existence (Ephesians 3:17), meant to be expressed with passion and fervency (1 Peter 4:8). It is a quality that we are to "abound" in more and more (1 Thessalonians 3:12), always getting better at it, becoming increasingly defined by it.
Day 190
God showers His favor on us without measure, though in return we often don't pay attention. At times we have acted shamefully and deemed His love an intrusion, as if it's keeping us from what we really want. We have rejected Him in many ways - even after receiving His gift of eternal salvation - and yet He still loves us. He still remains faithful.
Day 191
"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace" (Ephesians 1:7). In Him we have the model of what rejected love does. It stays faithful.
Day 192
Jesus called us to this kind of love in the passage known as the Sermon on the Mount. He said to "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:27-28).
Day 193
If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. - Luke 6:32-33
Day 194
Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. - Luke 6:35
Day 195
If love is to be like God's, it must love even when its overtures are returned unwanted. And for your love to be like that, it must be His love to begin with.
Day 196
You can give undeserved love to your spouse because God gave undeserved love to you - repeatedly, enduringly. Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least. Ask Him to fill you with the kind of love only He can provide, then purpose to give it to your mate in a way that reflects your gratefulness to God for loving you. That's the beauty of redeeming love. That's the power of faithfulness.
Day 197
Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.
Day 198
I have chosen the faithful way. - Psalm 119:30
LOVE ALWAYS PROTECS
Day 199
[Love] always protects. - 1 Corinthians 13:7 NIV
Day 200
Marriage is made up of many things, including joys, sorrows, successes, and failures. But when you think about what you want marriage to be like, the furthest thing from your mind is a battleground. However, there are some battles you should be more than willing to fight. These are battles that pertain to protecting your spouse.
Day 201
Unfortunately your marriage has enemies out there. They come in different forms and use different strategies, but nonetheless they will conspire to destroy your relationship unless you know how to ward them off.
Day 202
You must sometimes wage a battle to protect your marriage from outside threats. Love must sometimes put on its armor and pick up a sword to protect its own.
Day 203
Are you allowing certain habits to poison your home? The Internet and television can be productive and enjoyable additions to your life, but they can also bring in destructive content and drain away precious hours from your family. The same thing goes for work schedules that keep you separated from each other for unhealthy amounts of time.
Day 204
Not everyone has the material to be a good friend. Not every man you hunt and fish with speaks wisely when it comes to matters of marriage. Not every woman in your lunch group has a good perspective on commitment and priorities. In fact, anyone who undermines your marriage does not deserve to be given the title of "friend".
Day 205
Everyone deals with some level of inferiority and weakness. And because marriage has a way of exposing it all to you and your mate, you need to protect your wife or husband's vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public.
Day 206
Watch out for parasites. A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. They're usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love.
Day 207
Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don't, it will destroy you.
Day 208
Wives - you have a role as protector in your marriage. You must guard your heart from being led away through novels, magazines, and other forms of entertainment that blur your perception of reality and put unfair expectations on your husband. Instead you must do your part in helping him feel strong, while also avoiding talk-show thinking that can lure your attention away from your family. "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands" (Proverbs 14:1).
Day 209
Men - you are the head of your home. You are the one responsible before God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage. This is no small assignment. It requires a heart of courage and a head for preemptive action. Jesus said, "If the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into" (Matthew 24:43). This role is yours. Take it seriously.
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