The Love Dare, 40 Dares
Stephen and Alex Kendrick
Stephen and Alex Kendrick
Dare 1 Love is patient
The first part of this dare is fairly simple.
Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often
reflect the condition of our heart.
For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.
If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.
It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often
reflect the condition of our heart.
For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.
If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.
It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
(James 1:19)
(James 1:19)
Dare 2 Love is kind
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today,
do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
What is desirable in a man is his kindness.
(Proverbs 19:22)
(Proverbs 19:22)
Dare 3 Love is not selfish
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you.
It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in.
Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”
It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in.
Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
(James 3:16)
(James 3:16)
Dare 4 Love is not rude
Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything
you could do for them.
you could do for them.
I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.
(Philippians 1:3)
(Philippians 1:3)
Dare 5 Love is thoughtful
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be
uncomfortable or irritated with you.
You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.
This is from their perspective only.
uncomfortable or irritated with you.
You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.
This is from their perspective only.
The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious.
(Ecclesiastes 10:12)
(Ecclesiastes 10:12)
Dare 6 Love is not irritable
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.
Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule.
Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule.
Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
I always do my best to have a clear conscience towards God and men.
(-Acts 24:16)
Dare 7 Love Believes the Best
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper.
On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse.
Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day.
There is a different purpose and plan for each.
At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse.
Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day.
There is a different purpose and plan for each.
At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
If there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things.
(Philippians 4:8 NKJV)
(Philippians 4:8 NKJV)
Dare 8 Love is Not Jealous
Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy.
To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it.
Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it.
Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
(Romans 12:15)
(Romans 12:15)
Dare 9 Love Makes Good Impressions
Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today.
Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.
Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.
Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love.
(Philemon 7)
(Philemon 7)
Dare 10 Love is Unconditional
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse --- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else.
Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert.
Fold the laundry.
Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert.
Fold the laundry.
Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
He who trusts in the Lord, loving kindness shall surround him.
(Psalm 32:10)
(Psalm 32:10)
Dare 11 Love Cherishes
What need does your spouse have that could meet today?
Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with?
Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.
Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with?
Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.
Answering him, Jesus said, “What do you want Me to do for you?”
(Mark 10:51)
(Mark 10:51)
Dare 12 Love Lets the Other Win
Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse.
Tell them you are putting their preference first.
Tell them you are putting their preference first.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
(Romans 12:18)
(Romans 12:18)
Dare 13 Love Fights Fair
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement.
If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by.
Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by.
Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Be of the same mind toward one another.
(Romans 12:16)
(Romans 12:16)
Dare 14 Love Takes Delight
Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse.
Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on.
Just to be together.
Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on.
Just to be together.
Give me your heart … and let your eyes delight in my ways.
(Proverbs 23:26)
(Proverbs 23:26)
Dare 15 Love Intercedes
Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine.
It may be holding the door for her.
It might be putting his clothes away for him.
It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication.
Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.
It may be holding the door for her.
It might be putting his clothes away for him.
It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication.
Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.
I will also honor them and they will not be insignificant.
(Jeremiah 30:19)
(Jeremiah 30:19)
Dare 16 Love is Honorable
Begin Praying for your spouse’s heart.
Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.
Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.
If anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He listens to him
(John 9:31).
(John 9:31).
Dare 17 Love Promotes Intimacy
Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them.
Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues.
Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you.
Make them feel safe.
Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues.
Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you.
Make them feel safe.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.
(Song of Solomon 6:3)
(Song of Solomon 6:3)
Dare 18 Love Seeks to Understand
Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you.
The dinner can be as nice as you prefer.
Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about.
Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.
The dinner can be as nice as you prefer.
Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about.
Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.
Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding.
(Proverbs 4:7)
(Proverbs 4:7)
Dare 19 Love is impossible
Look back over the dares from the previous days.
Were there some that seemed impossible to you?
Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love?
Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.
Were there some that seemed impossible to you?
Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love?
Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.
What do you believe God is saying to you?
Is there a stirring in your heart?
What decision have you made in response to this?
Is there a stirring in your heart?
What decision have you made in response to this?
This is impossible, but with God all things are possible.
(Matthew 19:26)
(Matthew 19:26)
Dare 20 Love is Jesus Christ
Dare to take God at His Word.
Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation.
Dare to pray “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner.
But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”
Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation.
Dare to pray “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner.
But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”
In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them.
(Isaiah 63:9)
(Isaiah 63:9)
Dare 21 Love is Satisfied in God
Be intentional today about making time to pray and read your Bible.
Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one – a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).
As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.
Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one – a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).
As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.
You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.
(Psalm 145:16)
(Psalm 145:16)
Dare 22 Love is Faithful
Love is a choice, not a feeling.
It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction.
Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.
Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period.
I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."
It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction.
Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.
Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period.
I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."
I have chosen the faithful way.
(Psalm 119:30)
(Psalm 119:30)
Dare 23 Love Always Protects
Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
You will be restored if you remove unrighteousness far from your tent.
(Job 22:23).
(Job 22:23).
Dare 24 Love vs. Lust
End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it.
Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it.
Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom.
It must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it.
Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom.
It must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil.
(1 Peter 2:16)
(1 Peter 2:16)
Dare 25 Love is Responsible
Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well.
Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.
(Luke 23:34).
(Luke 23:34).
Dare 26 Love Forgives
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing.
As for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse.
Do it sincerely and truthfully.
Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well.
No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love.
Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
As for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse.
Do it sincerely and truthfully.
Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well.
No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love.
Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
Each one must examine his own work … in regard to himself alone.
(Galatians 6:4)
(Galatians 6:4)
Dare 27 Love Encourages
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home.
Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.
(Hebrews 10:24)
(Hebrews 10:24)
Dare 28 Love Makes Sacrifices
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now?
Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part?
Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part?
Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
(Galatians 6:2)
(Galatians 6:2)
Dare 29 Love’s Motivation
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs.
Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way.
Go to God in prayers again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person – unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way.
Go to God in prayers again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person – unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
(Joshua 24:15)
(Joshua 24:15)
Dare 30 Love Brings Unity
Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it.
Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse.
Pray that He would do the same for them.
And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse.
Pray that He would do the same for them.
And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
The Lord is our God, the Lord is one!
(Deuteronomy 6:4)
(Deuteronomy 6:4)
Dare 31 Love and Marriage
Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right.
The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it.
Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it.
Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You.
(John 17:21 HCSB)
(John 17:21 HCSB)
Dare 32 Love Meets Sexual Needs
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today.
Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually.
Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually.
Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
How beautiful and delightful you are, my love.
(Song of Solomon 7:6)
(Song of Solomon 7:6)
Dare 33 Love Completes Each Other
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success.
Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel.
If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel.
If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. (Colossians 3:14)
Dare 34 Love Celebrates Godliness
Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way.
Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart.
(Psalm 101:2)
(Psalm 101:2)
Dare 35 Love is Accountable
Find a marriage mentor – someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you.
If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment.
During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment.
During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
In abundance of counselors there is victory.
(Proverbs 11:14)
(Proverbs 11:14)
Dare 36 Love is God’s Word
Commit to reading the Bible every day.
Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you.
Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.
Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you.
Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.
Whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction.
(Romans 15:4)
(Romans 15:4)
Dare 37 Love Agrees in Prayer
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together.
Talk about the best time to do this -- whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime.
Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord.
Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing.
Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
Talk about the best time to do this -- whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime.
Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord.
Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing.
Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
In the morning my prayer comes before You.
(Psalm 88:13)
(Psalm 88:13)
Dare 38 Love Fulfills Dreams
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable.
Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
God is able to make all grace abound to you.
(2 Corinthians 9:8)
(2 Corinthians 9:8)
Dare 39 Love Endures
Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse.
Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what.
Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what.
Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
He delights in unchanging love.
(Micah 7:18)
(Micah 7:18)
Dare 40 Love Is a Covenant
Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home.
Perhaps if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present.
Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.
Perhaps if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present.
Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.
He has remembered His covenant forever.
(Psalm 105:8)
(Psalm 105:8)
Source :
Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, ipad
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