Forgiveness is so difficult and yet, so Important

“When deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive…  Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Mary Karen Read (her last entry on her journal before she was killed in the Virginia Tech shootings)

In teaching the past couple weeks about “our” relationship with our parents, the stories keep flooding in including this one that I shared last week of a young girl that tried to take her life. They are painful, brutal, disheartening, and everything within – stories of various abuses, neglect, rejection, etc. In fairness, this is amidst the landscape of many healthy relationships but nevertheless, they are difficult.
The question – in various forms – that I am being asked is,

“How can you ask me to forgive?”

Here are some reasons & thoughts to consider regarding forgiveness.

Forgiveness is really difficult because it contradicts our human concept of fairness.

If someone has wronged or hurt you, it’s only fair that we be angry. If someone punches you, we want to punch back. If someone slanders you, we want to slander back.
Ugh, this following Christ thing is really hard & honestly, unfair at times. I never shared that forgiveness was easy or even natural. In fact, it’s best to acknowledge that it’s irrational, unfair, and likely, some of the most difficult things we’ll do in our life.
Following the ways of Christ = not always easy.

 

Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse that person or the wrong.

It doesn’t exculpate that person.
As Christians, there’s nothing wrong with calling something for what it is. If someone molested you, beat you, or whatever…it is wrong, sinful, foul, ungodly, and needs to be called for what it is. Period.
Calling someone to forgiveness is not license to be foggy with the interpretation of a situation. And we can be fold in that process.

 

In forgiving, we learn about the heart of God.

Yes, it is true that God is not defined by one attribute but make no mistake, forgiveness is a central part of God’s heart. There is no Christianity without forgiveness. And if we’re uncertain of this, we simply need to look to the cross.
Wow.

 

Anger and embitterment is not God’s will for our lives.

We might be completely justified on a human level to be upset, angry, and embittered but those feelings, emotions, and anger is not what God intended for our souls.
Forgive so that you can step into what God intended for our souls. In a strange way, forgiveness isn’t just meant for the other person, it’s meant for you and for your soul. Yes, it is true that you can “get by” and survive but what God intends us for is so much more.

 

The implications of generations. Sing a new song.

While there are varying opinions of “generational sin”, I think we can all agree that our actions – both good and bad – have an impact beyond our lives.
My invitation for people to forgive is not just merely for your benefit but to consider your future as well. We might not see it now but it will impact those around us – including those in the future.
Break the cycle. Begin a new rhythm of grace, mercy, and kindness, and forgiveness. Sing a new song.

“When deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive…  Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Mary Karen Read (her last entry on her journal before she was killed in the Virginia Tech shootings)

 

Forgiveness is rarely a one time event.

Forgiveness is part of a longer process that usually involves forgiving someone and even the same circumstance – again and again and again. I wonder if this is in part of what Jesus was referring to in Matthew 18:21-22 when he encouraged forgiveness to take place 70 times 7.


Source :
http://eugenecho.com/2010/05/10/forgiveness-2/