The Love Dare 365 days, Day 109-154 (ems)

The Love Dare 365 days
Stephen and Alex Kendrick

LOVE  LETS THE OTHER WIN

Day 109

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. - Philippians 2:4 

Day 110

The very moment one of you says, "I'm willing to go your way on this one," the argument is over.

Day 111

"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 2:5) - the attitude of willingness, flexibility, and humble submission. It means laying down for the good of others what you have the right to claim for yourself.

Day 112

The wise and loving thing to do is to start approaching your disagreements with a willingness to not always insist on your own way. That's not to say your mate is necessarily right or being wise about a matter, but you are choosing to give strong consideration to their preference as a way of valuing them.

Day 113

Love's best advice comes from the Bible, which says, "The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield" (James 3:17 NKJV).

Day 114

Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won't have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship. Rather, your differences are for listening to and learning from.

Day 115

Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run - especially in eternity - then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be both good for you and good for your marriage.

Day 116

If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.  - Romans 12:18

LOVE  FIGHTS  FAIR

Day 117

Love Fights Fair: "Me" boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own like: 1. I will listen first before speaking. (see James 1:19) 2. I will deal with my own issues up front. (see Matthew 7:3) 3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down. (see Proverbs 15:1)

Day 118

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. - Mark 3:25

Day 119

Love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you're fighting about.

Day 120

Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.

Day 121

Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? - Matthew 7:3

Day 122

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. - Proverbs 15:1

Day 123

Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.

Day 124

Be of the same mind toward one another. - Romans 12:16

LOVE  TAKES  DELIGHT

Day 125

Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life. - Ecclesiastes 9:9 HCSB

Day 126

One of the most important things you should learn on your Love Dare journey is that you should not just follow your heart. You should lead it. You don't let your feelings and emotions do the driving. You put them in the back seat and tell them where you're going.

Day 127

It's time to lead you heart to once again delight in your mate. Enjoy your spouse. Accept this person - quirks and all - and welcome him or her back into your heart. You get to choose what you delight in.

Day 128

Love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving.

Day 129

Lead your heart to once again delight in your mate. Enjoy your spouse. Take her hand and seek her companionship. Desire his conversation. Remember why you fell in love with her personality. Accept this person, quirks and all, and welcome him or her back into your heart.

Day 130

The responsibility is yours to relearn what you love about this one to whom you've promised yourself forever.

Day 131

Give me your heart . . . and let your eyes delight in my ways. - Proverbs 23:16

LOVE is HONORABLE

Day 132

Live with your [wife] in an understanding way . . . and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. - 1 Peter 3:7

Day 133

To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth. When you speak to them, you keep your language clean and understandable. You are courteous and polite. When they speak to you, you take them seriously, giving their words weight and significance. When they ask you to do something, you accommodate them if at all possible, simply out of respect for who they are.

Day 134

When two people marry, each spouse becomes "holy" to each other by way of "holy matrimony." This means no other person in the whole world is supposed to enjoy this level of commitment and endearment from you. Your relationship is like no other. You share physical intimacy with only her, only him. You establish a home with this person. You bear your children with this person. Your heart, your possessions, your life itself is to be wrapped up in the uncommon bond you share with this one individual.

Day 135

Love honors even when it's rejected. Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.

Day 136

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure. - Hebrews 13:4 NIV

Day 137

When your attempts at honor go unreciprocated, you are to give honor just the same. That's what love dares to do - to say, "Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults - past and present - I still choose to love and honor you." That's how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That's how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that's the beauty of honor.

LOVE  INTERCEDES

Day 138

You cannot change your spouse. But here's what you can do. You can become a "wise farmer." A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop. He cannot argue, manipulate, or demand it to bear fruit. But he can plant the seed into fertile soil, give it water and nutrients, protect it from weeds, and then turn it over to God.

Day 139

Prayer really does work. It's a spiritual phenomenon created by an unlimited, powerful God. And it yields amazing results.

Day 140

Jesus said to pray instead of quitting (see Luke 18:1).

Day 141

God is sovereign. He does things His way. He's not a genie in a lamp that submits to your every wish. But He does love you and desires an intimate relationship with you. This doesn't happen apart from prayer.

Day 142

Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another. . . . The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. - James 5:16

Day 143

Love Intercedes: There are some key elements that must be in place for prayer to be effective. But suffice it to say that prayer works best when coming from a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and with others.

Day 144

Love Intercedes: Has your scolding or nagging been working? The answer is no, because that's not what changes a heart. It is time to try talking to God in your prayer closet instead and intercede for your mate.

Day 145

Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse's hidden faults? Do you really think it's for endless nagging? No, it is for effective kneeling. No one knows better how to pray for your mate than you.

Day 146

Turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. If your spouse doesn't have any type of relationship with God, then it's clear what you need to start praying for.

Day 147

Love Intercedes: Begin to pray for exactly what your mate needs. Pray for his heart. Pray for her attitude. Pray for truth to replace lies. Pray that forgiveness would replace bitterness. Pray for a genuine breakthrough in your marriage.

Day 148

One of the most loving things you can ever do for your spouse is to pray for them. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7).

Day 149

If anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He listens to him. - John 9:31

LOVE PROMOTES  INTIMACY

Day 150

He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. - Proverbs 17:9 NIV

Day 151

Nothing rivals the closeness that's experienced between a husband and wife. Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships.

Day 152

Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval. They should not walk on eggshells in the very place where they ought to feel the most comfortable in their bare feet. The Bible says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). The atmosphere in your marriage should be one of freedom.

Day 153

God, who knows secrets about us that we even hide from ourselves, loves us at a depth we cannot begin to fathom. How much more should we, as imperfect people, reach out to our spouse in grace and understanding, accepting them for who they are and assuring them that their secrets are safe with us?

Day 154

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. - Song of Solomon 6:3

The Love Dare 365 days, Day 55-108 (ems)

The Love Dare 365 days
Stephen and Alex Kendrick

LOVE is Not IRRITABLE

Day 55

Love is Not Irritable: Some people are like lemons: when life squeezes them, they pour out a sour response. Some are more like peaches: when the pressure is on, the result is still sweet.

Day 56

Love is Not Irritable: Some people have the motto, "Never pass up an opportunity to get upset with your spouse." When something goes wrong, they quickly take full advantage of it by expressing how hurt or frustrated they are about it. But this is the opposite reaction of love.

Day 57

Love is Not Irritable: Everyone has unresolved issues, hurts, and personal baggage. We have all sinned. But we have this unfortunate tendency to downplay our own negative attributes while putting our partner's failures under a magnifying glass.

Day 58

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. - Proverbs 16:32

Day 59

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. - Proverbs 16:32

Day 60

Love does not get angry or hurt unless there is a legitimate and just reason in the sight of God.

Day 61

If you are walking under the influence of love, you will be a joy, not a jerk. Ask yourself, "Am I a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?"

Day 62

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. This means you must balance, prioritize, and pace yourself.

Day 63

Is your home a place where failure can be forgiven? Is your heart willing to overlook some things that were never intended to hurt you?

Day 64

The Bible can help you avoid unhealthy stress. It teaches you to let love guide your relationships so you aren't caught up in unnecessary arguments (see Colossians 3:12-14).

Day 65

Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34 NKJV).

Day 66

Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule.

Day 67

When love enters your heart, it calms you down and inspires you to quit focusing on yourself. It loosens your grasp and helps you let go of unnecessary things.

Day 68

Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge. To be grateful instead of greedy. To be content rather than rushing into more debt. Love encourages you to be happy when someone else succeeds rather than lying awake at night in envy.

Day 69

I always do my best to have a clear conscience toward God and men. - Acts 24:16

LOVE  BELIEVES THE  BEST

Day 70

[Love] believes all things, hopes all things. - 1 Corinthians 13:7

Day 71

Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.

Day 72

Your spouse is a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and abilities may be discovered like hidden treasure. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you.

Day 73

Develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision that you make, whether they deserve it or not.

Day 74

If there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. - Philippians 4:8

LOVE is NOT JEALOUS

Day 75

Love is Not Jealous: Jealousy is sparked when someone else upstages you and gets something you want. This can be very painful depending upon how selfish you are. Instead of congratulating them, you fume in anger and think ill of them.

Day 76

Jealousy is a common struggle. If you're not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships. It can poison you from living the life of love God intended. The Bible says that envy leads to fighting, quarreling, and every evil thing (James 3:16, 4:1-2).

Day 77

When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your spouse's biggest cheerleader and the captain of his or her fan club. Both of you became one and were to share in the enjoyment of the other. But if selfishness rules, any good thing happening to only one of you can be a catalyst for envy rather than congratulations.

Day 78

A loving wife will be the first to cheer for her man when he wins. She does not compare her weaknesses to his strengths. She throws a celebration, not a pity party.

Day 79

A loving wife will be the first to cheer for her man when he wins. She does not compare her weaknesses to his strengths. She throws a celebration, not a pity party.

Day 80

It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart. It's time to let your mate's successes draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show genuine love.

Day 81

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. - Romans 12:15

LOVE MAKES  GOOD  IMPRESSIONS

Day 82

Greet one another with a kiss of love. - 1 Peter 5:14

Day 83

You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another. You can see it in their expression and countenance, as well as how they speak to each other.

Day 84

A good greeting sets the stage for positive and healthy interaction. Like love, it puts wind in your sails.

Day 85

Think back to the story Jesus told of the prodigal son. Of all the scenarios this young man had played out in his mind, this was likely the last one he expected. But how do you think it made him feel to receive his father's embrace and hear his thankful tone? He no doubt felt loved and treasured once again. What do you think it did in their relationship? What kind of greetings would make your mate feel like that? (see Luke 15:11-32)

Day 86

Think of the opportunities you have to greet each other on a regular basis. When coming through the door. When meeting for lunch. When saying good-night. When talking on the phone.

Day 87

Your greeting and expressions of love don't have to be bold and dramatic every time. But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate's heart in subtle, unspoken ways.

Day 88

Love is a choice. Choose to love. 

Day 89

Think about your greeting. Do you use it well? Does your spouse feel valued and appreciated? Do they feel loved? Even when you're not getting along, you can lessen the tension and give them value by the way you greet them. 

LOVE is UNCONDITIONAL

Day 90

If a man says to his wife, "I have fallen out of love with you," he is actually saying, "I never loved you unconditionally to begin with." His love was based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment.

Day 91

God doesn't love us because we are so lovable. He loves us because He is so loving.(Romans 5:8)

Day 92

God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8

Day 93

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.

Day 94

Unconditional love is "in sickness and health" love, "for richer or poorer" love, "for better or worse" love. It is the only kind of love that is true love.

Day 95

The Bible says, "In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins" (1 John 4:10). If He insisted that we prove ourselves worthy of His love, we would fail miserably.

Day 96

Unconditional love will not be swayed by time or circumstance.

Day 97

When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.

Day 98

Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7) does not come from within. It can only come from God.

Day 99

The Scriptures say that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39). This is God's kind of love. And thankfully - by your choice - it can become your kind of love. But first you must receive it and share it.

Day 100

He who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him. - Psalm 32:10

LOVE  CHERISHES

Day 101

"Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28). When you show love to your spouse, you are showing love to yourself as well.

Day 102

You would never cut off your hand if it was injured but would pay whatever you could afford for the best medical treatment possible. That's because your hand is priceless to you. It is a part of you. And so is your mate.

Day 103

Just as you treasure your eyes, hands, and feet, you should treasure your spouse as a priceless gift. Your identity as individuals has been joined into one.

Day 104

Marriage is a beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one. This not only happens physically but spiritually and emotionally.

Day 105

Love Fulfills Dreams - Love sometimes needs to be extravagant. To go all out. What is something your spouse would really, really, love? It's time you started living out the answer to that question.

Day 106

Love Fulfills Dreams - Love sometimes needs to be extravagant. To go all out. What is something your spouse would really, really, love? It's time you started living out the answer to that question.

Day 107

Whenever a husband looks into the eyes of his wife, he should remember that "he who loves his wife loves himself." And a wife should remember that when she loves him, she is also giving love and honor to herself. (see Ephesians 5:28)

Day 108

When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life.

The Love Dare 365 days, Day 1-54 (ems)

 

The Love Dare 365 days  
Stephen and Alex Kendrick

THE  LOVE  DARE

Day 1

God uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy.  But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner.

Day 2

The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that "the heart is more deceitful than all else" (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.

Day 3

Love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational.

Day 4

Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:13

LOVE is PATIENT

Day 5

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. - Ephesians 4:2 NIV

Day 6

It's simply inevitable that two people living in such close proximity will irritate each other a bit, maybe a lot. So unless love is laced with patience rather than based on performance, the love inside your marriage will only be as consistent as your spouse is.

Day 7

We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it.

Day 8

Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes.

Day 9

Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation.

Day 10

Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.

Day 11

Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. You don't get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives.

Day 12

Patience makes us wise. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment.

Day 13

The Bible says, "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly" (Proverbs 14:29).

Day 14

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute. - Proverbs 15:18

Day 15

Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human.

Day 16

What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: "See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"? (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

Day 17

Love is Not Rude: Good manners express to your wife or husband, "I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you. I want to be a person who's a pleasure to be with."

Day 18

Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. - James 1:19

LOVE is KIND

Day 19

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:32

Day 20

Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. Kindness is love in action.

Day 21

Love is responsible - Can your spouse say that you have wronged or wounded them in any way and never made it right? Part of taking responsibility is admitting when you've failed and asking for forgiveness. God wants there to be no unresolved issues between the two of you.

Day 22

Love makes you kind. And kindness makes you likeable. When you're kind, people want to be around you. They see you as being good to them and good for them.

Day 23

Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. - Proverbs 3:3-4

Day 24

When you're operating from kindness, you're careful how you treat your spouse, never being unnecessarily harsh. You're sensitive. Tender.

Day 25

Being kind means you meet the needs of the moment. If it's housework, you get busy. A listening ear? You give it.

Day 26

Kindness inspires you to be agreeable. A kind husband ends thousands of potential arguments by his willingness to listen first rather than demand his way.

Day 27

The kind husband or wife will be the one who greets first, smiles first, serves first, and forgives first. They don't require the other to get his or her act together before showing love.

Day 28

The Bible describes a woman whose husband and children bless and praise her. Among her noble attributes are these: "She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" (Proverbs 31:26). How about you? How would your husband or wife describe you on the kindness meter?

Day 29

Love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness.

Day 30

What is desirable in a man is his kindness. - Proverbs 19:22

LOVE is NOT SELFISH

Day 31

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. - Romans 12:10

Day 32

If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness.

Day 33

Love "does not seek its own" (1 Corinthians 13:5). Loving couples - the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage - are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with.

Day 34

Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say "no" to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need. That's putting the happiness of your partner above your own.

Day 35

When you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.

Day 36

 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3

LOVE  is THOUGHTFUL

Day 37

How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . . How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. - Psalm 139:17-18

Day 38

Love thinks. It's not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally. It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.

Day 39

If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.

Day 40

It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him. - Genesis 2:18

Day 41

A woman deeply longs for her husband to be thoughtful. It is a key to helping her feel loved.

Day 42

Love requires thoughtfulness - on both sides - the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks.

Day 43

The thoughtful nature of love teaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.

Day 44

When was the last time you spent a few minutes thinking about how you could better understand and demonstrate love to your spouse? What immediate need can you meet? What's the next event (anniversary, birthday, holiday) you could be preparing for? Great marriages come from great thinking.

LOVE is NOT RUDE

Day 45

Love is not Rude: To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. In marriage, this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips. However you look at it, no one enjoys being around a rude person.

Day 46

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.  - Proverbs 27:14

Day 47

Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.

Day 48

When a man is driven by love, he intentionally behaves in a way that's more pleasant for his wife to be around. If she desires to love him, she purposefully avoids things that frustrate him or cause him discomfort.

Day 49

Genuine love minds its manners. Embracing this one concept could add some fresh air to your marriage.

Day 50

When you allow love to change your behavior - even in the smallest of ways - you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship. People who practice good etiquette tend to raise the respect level of the environment around them.

Day 51

"It is well with the man who is gracious" (Psalm 112:5). A man of discretion will find out what is appropriate, then adjust his behavior accordingly.

Day 52

Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?

Day 53

Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated. 'Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31).

Day 54

The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious. - Ecclesiastes 10:12