The Love Dare 365 days
Stephen and Alex Kendrick
LOVE VS LUST
Day 210
The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. - 1 John 2:17
Day 211
Adam and Eve were supplied with everything they needed in the garden of Eden. They had fellowship with God and intimacy with one another. But after Eve was deceived by the serpent, she saw the forbidden fruit and set her heart on it. Before long, Adam joined in her wishes, and against God's command both of them ate. That's the progression. From eyes to heart to action. And then follows shame and regret.
Day 212
Lust is in opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. And for a believer it's the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. That's because every object of your lust - whether it's a young coworker or a film actress, or coveting after a half-million dollar house or a sports car - represents the beginnings of a lie. This person or thing that seems to promise sheer satisfaction is more like a bottomless pit of unmet longings.
Day 213
Lust always breeds more lust. "What is the source of the wars and the fights among you? Don't they come from the cravings that are at war within you?" (James 4:1 HCSB). Lust will make you dissatisfied with your husband or wife. It breeds anger, numbs hearts, and destroys marriages. Rather than fullness, it leads to emptiness.
Day 214
Lust is like a warning light on the dashboard of your heart, alerting you to the fact that you are not allowing God's love to fill you.
Day 215
When your eyes and heart are on Him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not to endless cycles of regret and condemnation. "His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust" (2 Peter 1:3-4).
Day 216
Begin setting your eyes on the Word of God. Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart.
Day 217
Focus on being grateful for everything God has already given you rather than choosing discontentment.
Day 218
Set your eyes and heart on your spouse again. "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. . . . Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths" (Proverbs 5:18-21).
Day 219
"Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him" (1 John 2:15). Lust is the best this world has to offer, but love offers you the best life in the world.
LOVE FORGIVES
Day 220
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ. - 2 Corinthians 2:10
Day 221
If there is to be any hope for your marriage, forgiveness is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won't.
Day 222
Torture. Prison. When you think of unforgiveness, this is what should come to your mind, for Jesus said, "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35).
Day 223
Forgiveness doesn't absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you're not turning them loose. You're just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You're saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It's not about winning and losing anymore. It's about freedom. It's about letting go.
Day 224
People who have genuinely forgiven say, "It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders." Yes, that's exactly what it is. It's like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart. The stale dankness of the prison house is flooded with light and coolness. For the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. You feel free.
Day 225
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. - Romans 12:19
Day 226
Great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep "no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).
LOVE is RESPONSIBLE
Day 226
Great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep "no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Day 227
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. - Romans 2:1 HCSB
Day 228
Love doesn't pass the blame easily or justify selfish motives. Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with others' needs. When love takes responsibility for its actions, it's not to prove how noble you've been but rather to admit how much further you have to go.
Day 229
Next time you're in an argument with your spouse, instead of working up your comebacks, stop and see if there's something worth listening to in what your mate is saying. What might happen in your relationship if instead of passing blame, you first admitted your own wrongs? As the Scripture says, "Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool" (Proverbs 17:10 NKJV).
Day 230
Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front. Are you taking responsibility for this person you chose for yourself as the love of your life? How deliberate are you about making sure your spouse's needs are met? Or are you only concerned with your mate fulfilling yours?
Day 231
Love calls us to take responsibility for our partner in marriage. To love them. To honor them. To cherish them. Are you taking responsibility for your own faults? Have you said or done things to your spouse - or to God - that are wrong? Love desires to have a right relationship with both God and your mate. Once that is right, the stage is set for other areas to fall into place.
Day 232
Pride is very resistant to responsibility, but humility and honesty before God and your spouse are crucial for a healthy relationship.
Day 233
"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us" (1 John 1:8). However, "if we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Confess your areas of sin first, then you'll be on better ground to work things out with your spouse.
Day 234
In order to walk with God and to keep His favor, you must stay clean before Him. That doesn't mean you can never stumble but that you confess it to God and ask for forgiveness when you do.
Day 235
Can your spouse say that you have wronged or wounded them in any way and never made it right? Part of taking responsibility is admitting when you've failed and asking for forgiveness. It's time to humble yourself, correct your offenses, and repair the damage. It's an act of love. God wants there to be no unresolved issues between the two of you.
Day 236
Admitting your mistakes is your responsibility. Ask God to show you where you have failed in your responsibility, then get right with Him first. Once you've done that, you need to get right with your spouse. It may be the most difficult thing you've ever done, but it is crucial to taking the next step in your marriage and with God. If you are sincere, you may be surprised at the grace and strength God gives you when you take this step.
Day 237
Each one must examine his own work . . . in regard to himself alone. - Galatians 6:4
LOVE ENCOURAGES
Day 238
Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You. - Psalm 25:20
Day 239
Marriage has a way of altering our vision. We go in expecting our mate to fulfill our hopes and to make us happy. But this is an impossible order for our spouse to fill. Divorce is nearly inevitable when people refuse to allow their spouses to be human. So there needs to be a transition in your thinking.
Day 240
You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations. The way your spouse has been for the last ten years is likely what he or she will be in the future apart from your loving encouragement and an intervention from God.
Day 241
Love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others. Jesus painted a picture of this when He talked about the person who saw the "speck" in his brother's eye but didn't notice the "log" in his own. "How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:4-5).
Day 242
During the early days of marriage, you may have been more inclined to listen and make subtle changes. But as the years go by, your spouse's disapproval only tends to entrench you. Rather than making you want to correct things, it makes you want to dig in even deeper. Love is too smart for that. Instead of putting your mate in a position to rebel, love teaches you to give them room to be themselves.
Day 243
You must realize that marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed and savored along the way. It's a unique friendship designed by God Himself where two people live together in flawed imperfection but deal with it by encouraging each other, not discouraging them. The Bible says, "Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble" (Isaiah 35:3). "Encourage one another and build up one another. . . . Encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone" (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14).
Day 244
Don't you want married life to be a place where you can enjoy free expression of who you are, growing within a safe environment that encourages you even when you fail? Your spouse does too - and love gives them that privilege.
Day 245
Make a commitment to daily let go of unrealistic expectations and become your spouse's greatest encourager. And the person they're created by God to be will begin to emerge with new confidence and love for you.
Day 246
Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds. - Hebrews 10:24
LOVE MAKES SACRIFICES
Day 247
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. - 1 John 3:16 HCSB
Day 248
Love doesn't have to be jarred awake by your mate's obvious signs of distress. Before worries and troubles have begun to bury them, love has already gone into action mode. It sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help. That's because love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse.
Day 249
Love makes sacrifices. It keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked. And when you don't notice ahead of time and must be told what's happening, love responds to the heart of the problem.
Day 250
Even when your mate's stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love inspires you to say "no" to what you want, in order to say "yes" to what your spouse needs.
Day 251
"For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me" (Matthew 25:35-36). These are the types of needs you should be looking for in your wife or husband. Instead of sitting around upset that they're not treating you the way you think they should, let love pick you up out of your self-pity and turn your attention to their needs.
Day 252
Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and focus. When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it's merely the gift of a listening ear.
Day 253
The words "How can I help you?" need to stay fresh on your lips. The solutions may be simple and easy for you to do, or they may be complex and expensive, requiring time, energy, and great effort. Either way, you should do whatever you can to meet the real needs of the one who is a part of who you are. After all, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That's the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And He extends the grace to do it for others.
Day 254
Lives that have been raised from death by Jesus' sacrifice should be ready and willing to make daily sacrifices to meet the needs of others.
Day 255
Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:2
LOVE's MOTIVATION
Day 256
Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:2
Day 257
When God is your reason for loving, your ability to love is guaranteed. That's because love comes from Him.
Day 258
Work hard at "whatever you do . . . knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve" (Colossians 3:23-24).
Day 259
"Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18). "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).
Day 260
The love that's demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.
Day 261
Being able to wake up knowing that God is your source and supply - not just of your own needs but also those of your spouse - changes your whole reason for interacting with your mate.
Day 262
Love motivated by mere duty cannot hold out for very long. And love that is only motivated by favorable conditions can never be assured of sufficient oxygen to keep it breathing. Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God - returned to Him in gratitude for all He's done - is able to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize us.
Day 263
If you are committed to giving your spouse the best love you possibly can, you need to shoot for love's highest motivation. Love that has God as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain.
Day 264
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. - Joshua 24:15
